Grade IV Successes
“I am no longer fighting against insurmountable forces to prove a point. Now that is really something. I have split apart the difference between making others wrong and disagreeing with others. I can fully have another’s disagreements as a disagreement rather than an invalidation. I am finally at peace with myself and others.” R.M.
“During my Grade IV auditing I found myself in a situation at work that normally would have resulted in a big blowup. My boss was lecturing me on a point and as I was listening, I realized that I wasn’t feeling defensive or invalidated, the way I usually did. For a second I didn’t know how to react! I knew I actually had a choice on how this scene could turn out. Then I thought, ‘Well, I’ll just handle this however it needs to be handled — not based on past misunderstandings.’ A split second later I realized that my boss was only speaking to me in that emotional level because of the way I had always reacted earlier. Suddenly my boss stopped mid-sentence with a look of amazement on her face. She said, ‘Something has really changed with you, hasn’t it?’ and we both started laughing and went into smooth communication. All of her emotion evaporated immediately, just like mine had. Is this magic or what?” N.P.
“An example of my success on Grade IV is a phone conversation between a friend and I last evening that involved an incident at a mutually-owned property of ours. Some damage had occurred which, previously, I would have felt quite guilty about. Similar circumstances and conversations like this have occurred over the course of our ‘shared-property’ association together. I was amazed when I hung up and realized that there wasn’t any more guilt, any finger-pointing or any ill feelings toward her. There was just a damaged wall that needed to be fixed!” D.H.
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